When I started this blog in March 2007, it was intended to be a way to stay in easy contact with family and friends. All of our schedules are so full that a journal of my goings-on, thoughts, and photos – among assorted other paraphernalia – made sense. There are times when even e-mail becomes more a cumbersome obligation than a quick and easy way to stay in touch.
Unfortunately, it has also become something of a curiosity for a few. Rather sadly, these few monitor it not out of friendship, but only spite and maliciousness. I’ve actually known about this for some time, and have even been urged by the few friends who knew to shut the blog down. I resisted out of my own sense of defiance, I suppose, and a genuine sense of incredulousness. Plus, I’ve been bullied and intimidated long enough, and I had no intention of allowing that to continue. Enough is enough. How ironic it is that the person ultimately responsible for both those past issues as well as my current predicament is one in the same. Ironic, but not surprising.
But I can’t write to anyone about anything when I know such vile pettiness is looking over my shoulder, waiting only to strike. I’ve found great release, fun, creative expression and even joy in posting to this site over the past year+. But now, it’s being distorted for something far less joyful.
I didn’t come to this decision lightly, not by any stretch. In fact, I resent the hell out of it. I’ve found this blog to be therapeutic and in many ways, a daily (or semi-daily) journal during my time as a student. It’s also given me the opportunity to post information about issues of great concern to me, such as veterans care and advocacy, PTSD and more, like my love for American history and all kinds of music. I’ve posted some of my opinions about the war in Iraq – not always “popular” positions, but mine, nonetheless – and other current events. I’ve received comments and e-mails from people who share some of those same concerns and interests. That’s been a wonderful part of this.
But one of the most important things about the blog has (or had) been the fact that I was looking forward to sharing it with Jack one day, in the hope that he might glean some understanding of what my goals and dreams have been during this time, not only for me, but for us. I know it’s only a daily journal, really; the Magna Carta it ain’t. But most journals, and now blogs, are not. Still, they’re personal and expressive. And for me, I hoped that it would one day help Jack to gain even a little deeper understanding as to why I chose the path I did for our future, and why I’ve felt so committed to it and determined to do well.
Those choices have not been made for myself alone. But those who know and love me, know that.
So despite my reluctance, and sadness, for now I’ll have to say “Adios.”
When and if I begin a new blog, those whom I know, and trust, and love, will be given the information on where they can find me. I do intend to begin a new one. One thing’s clear, though: it’ll be damn private, preferably with a cyber lock and key, to keep the ignorant and small-minded at bay.
And oh, BTW: 3.97 cumulative for this 17-credit quarter. And I will never … have … to do it … again.
It’s been more than fun, folks. Bye for now.
