Barbara Plummer Early … December 17, 1936 – June 3, 2006
Today would have been my mom’s 71st birthday, so needless to say, she is on my mind, even more than she normally is. I do still have a special relationship with my mom, and feel strongly that she is with me.
Most fortunately, I’ve also been left with a lifetime’s worth of wonderful memories. The difficult ones tend to fade, in time; why hang on to those, anyway? If Mom taught us anything, it’s that “Life is short.”
I miss her, and wish she could have been here to watch Jack grow, and to see what good fortune I’ve had to return to school and just how much I’ve learned about myself and what I want to do with my life. She would’ve been excited for me, I know; Mom was always enthusiastic about learning! Regrettably, by the time all of that started to coalesce in my mind and come together as an actual plan and series of goals for my life, she was past being able to truly understand it. Alzheimer’s, especially early-onset, as my mom had, robs people of that understanding. For a scholar such as my mother was, it was a devastating path, to say the least. But then, it is for everyone who is struck down by this horrific disease. Fortunately for my mom now, she has been released from that, and for that I have felt genuinely grateful.
I do wish she could be here at Christmas. My memories of the season are inexorably linked with my mother, both from childhood and from the time I was back living with her when I was in my 20s. But I am just so fortunate to have those memories in the first place, and I remember that, too. Not everyone has had great relationships with their parents; some never even get to know them. She would have wanted me to remember that, since it is from my mom that I learned about compassion, and kindness, and not losing sight of the fact, always, that we have been given wonderful gifts – of life, of each other, of our ability to learn and to do something with that learning, which would hopefully be of service to others. I believe that all four of us – my two brothers, my sister and I – each took those lessons to heart. I would also like to believe that she remains proud of us, just as we will always be of her. She was an extraordinary woman and mother.
I love you, Mom. Happy Birthday, and Merry Christmas. I take great comfort in knowing that you are now finding more peace than would have ever been possible here. But I miss you. Still, I do enjoy our “talks”; I know you’re still here for me.
This slideshow of our mom, from the DVD that my siblings and I put together for the day of my mom’s funeral (and subsequent life-celebrating party!) was already shared in one of my June postings. I’m going to re-post it here, however. Everyone has told us that it captured her essence remarkably well. Thanks for those kudos, but the subject was pretty easy to highlight! Plus, it was a labor of love, and most of the thanks should go to Mark and Lolly. I’d like it to go back up for her birthday. I take some comfort in the fact that I looked so much like her as a toddler, and when I look at those photos next to Jack as a toddler, the resemblance is remarkable. I love that, and it brings me some peace.
Please note that the download is a large .avi file (273 Mb) and requires up to 15 minutes for downloading via a broadband connection. Amazingly enough, though, I’ve had it downloaded any number of times since my original posting. I mentioned then that it really is like taking a lap around the latter half of the 20th century, whether one knew my mom or not (the changes in ‘hat fashion’ are enough to keep one watching, LOL…). For those who didn’t have the opportunity to know her in life, I hope it helps you gain just a small window into the kind of woman she was, and that you have enjoyed that peek and have gotten to know Mom just a bit.
